English jokes and funny histories - Let's speak English! - Международный сектор - Форум Azamatus Web-Portal
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Форум Azamatus Web-Portal » Международный сектор » Let's speak English! » English jokes and funny histories
English jokes and funny histories
AzamatusДата: Суббота, 25/11/2006, 21:11:34 | Сообщение # 1
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God and the man

A man visits God and says "God, do you mind if I ask you a
few questions?" God says "No, ask me anything at all."

So the man says "God, you've been around for a very long time,
so, for you, how long is a thousand years?"

God replies "For me, a thousand years is only five minutes."

The man then says "That's interesting God. And, for you,
how much is a million dollars?"

God replies "For me, a million dollars is only five cents."

The man says "Really? Well then God, could you lend me
five cents please?"

God looks at the man, smiles, and says "Of course my son.
Just wait five minutes!"

****

What's 3 x 2?
A little boy returned home from school and told his father that he
had failed the maths test.

His father asked him, "Why did you fail?"

The boy replied, "The teacher asked me 'How much is 3 x 2?' and I said
'3 x 2 is 6'."

"Well, that's right" said his father.

The little boy continued, "Then she asked me 'How much is 2 x 3?"

"What the hell is the difference?" asked the father.

The son replied, "That's exactly what I said to my teacher and that's
why I failed the maths test.


Бзэр цIыф лъэпкъым ыпс
 
ГостьДата: Среда, 24/09/2008, 12:20:06 | Сообщение # 2
Группа: Гости





WI MAFA T-HAM FUE YESH
how are you Azamat?
this is an old friend, gues who?

here is a joke:

______________________________

Two Irishmen were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed
the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.

Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals.

Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances.

One man looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going idiot! Now we're going to have to piss in the boat!"

_________________________________________________

see you later....

 
CocoChanelsДата: Четверг, 02/07/2009, 17:09:53 | Сообщение # 3
Группа: Гости





Who knows where to download XRumer 5.0 Palladium?
Help, please. All recommend this program to effectively advertise on the Internet, this is the best program!
 
SerlesDredyДата: Четверг, 17/09/2009, 02:01:59 | Сообщение # 4
Группа: Гости





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good place!

I'm intrigued.

Whats crazy is I came across this web site
while I was browsing for istockphoto images! How strange is that?

I am planning to voice my ideas in this place

Blessings

 
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